Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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