So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
