Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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