Do you still have your period?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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