So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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