But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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