I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
love makes seman taste better
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
