She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
