i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
