I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Im part way to drunk.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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