I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
