Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
