Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
