this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
