Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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