Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize