She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
