Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
