hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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