I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
