My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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