yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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