I'm really into asian looking animals
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i love accidental penises.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
40s are totally the cure
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize