yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
