He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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