If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
