never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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