just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
