I am in a vortex of obligation.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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