Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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