i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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