exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
