It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
