i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
