How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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