We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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