the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
send nudes
from the living room?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
