do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
