I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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