I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
