her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
only you would photoshop your dick
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
