I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
