I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
