I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
