Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
