His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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