how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
