omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize