just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize