3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
