Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
