Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
