so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize