found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
