There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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