When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
