See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
