Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
