if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
