Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize