i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
