Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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