You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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