i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
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