We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Watching her eat just hurts me
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
