Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
