I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
