The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think a kid would responsible me up
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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