Ambien. No doubt about it.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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