is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
