It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize