dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
