I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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