Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
